Calling all parents! There's a meeting tonight after the babies go to bed. It's called "break time!!" It's time we as parents cut ourselves some slack and stop feeding in to the mainstream ideology of what makes a mom or dad a good parent. You know what makes you great? Being present. Feed them, clothe them, laugh with them and keep them alive. That's all it takes. The rest is however much you want to put into it.
We parents need to stop feeling guilty for so called short comings. No matter how hands on in parenting you are, as long as you're interacting positively that's a good thing. I play Legos on the floor, and the kids help me cook occasionally. I swing on the swing, even tho it kills my legs, and I slide down the slide (often getting stuck while the kids laugh). Maybe you can't swing, because it makes you nauseated. Ok, did you take them the park? I hate swimming with kids. Don't get water in my ears and for the love of sweet tea, don't spit on me. I still take the kids to the pool almost every day in summer. Why? Because they love it. That laundry can wait a few more hours, and the dishes will be there when we get back.
We get caught up in the preconceived notion that every day has to be supremely awesome, when that's just the biggest load of crap. There will be days when you're ready to pull your hair out. You will yell. You will scream. There will be times when you inevitably swear, and the first time you hear your tiny human use the same phrase, there will be regret. Again, cut yourself some slack.
At some point in your child's life, you will walk in to a bathroom with poop smeared somewhere. When the gagging and swearing have ended, the understanding will begin. At least one toilet in every household will be clogged with an entire roll of toilet paper, or in my case a fairy figurine. My sisters son flushed a baseball once and required a half remodel to fix. It's gonna happen! There will be stains on your carpet from walking in to a kid covered in chocolate syrup. Every parent will have to say something along the lines of "don't eat the dogs food!"
Children will fall. They will get hurt. It's part of growing up. When my daughter fell just days after turning 4 and broke her arm, I felt like the worst parent on this planet. I'm not. It wasn't my fault. She tripped and landed wrong. It took the Dr asking if I needed a nerve pill for me to realize that. We would all take the pain away from them if we could. They need to experience these things, as hard as that is to accept. Putting your children in a bubble will only give them a false sense of security. You won't always be able to save them. They need to know your job is to teach them, encourage them, love them, and brush them off when they fall down and send them back out there.
So, when you wake up, expect a great day. Expect that that day will hold unexpected events like lipstick on the sofa, barbie dolls with no heads, and just maybe a few stitches. That doesn't make it a bad day. Their clothes don't always have to be name brand or even match. Make shoes optional sometimes, when the kids go to bed, drink that glass of wine. Hell, drink the whole bottle. Relax and be thankful for everyday you get with those tiny humans. Remember that in the moment it isn't fun, but you'll laugh about it soon enough. Take a picture of the destruction now and then to remind them when they're older what their children have in store for them. Most of all, love them. They're only little for a little while.
No comments:
Post a Comment