Monday, July 27, 2015

Beauty and the Brave

Bravery can be seen in so many of life's everyday moments.  In recent weeks, I've read hundreds of posts about Caitlin Jenner, and it has inspired me to really ponder what courage really looks like.  I am not going to sit here and say that her stand is comparable to a veteran who's risked his or her life for our freedom, because I don't believe they're in the same ball game.  That said, I do see that it takes a certain amount of bravery to admit you're not living the life you've imagined.  And that's all I will say about her.  To me courage and bravery, valor etc is so much more than that.

Bravery is being a friend, falling in love, declaring your love, changing religions, standing up to a bully and too many other acts to list.  It's a display we show to the world around us, sometimes without even noticing.  It's the smile you flash to the stranger that caught your eye, the drink you bought for the girl at the end of the bar, the secret you told your best friend that would destroy your reputation if it were ever known, and mostly, it's facing the demons within ourselves head on.  Bravery is displayed when a person accepts who they really are and bares their soul to the mirror, with all of the flaws, insecurities, scars and fears and doesn't flinch.

The courage to become a friend is one many don't take notice of. That relationship is built over time and takes trust.  We share the intimate details of our lives. There is laughter, tears, sorrow, joy, pain, quarrels, and every other emotion on the spectrum, and we give that friend a room in our hearts.  We don't charge rent.  We let them in with muddy boots, allow them to bring their baggage along and make huge messes in our lives.  It takes valor to endure another human's burdens, but we each do it so freely.  We accept that individuals past, and we forgive them of every shortcoming they have, many times without question.

As anyone can observe,  my friends are my family, my support system, and my army.  They stand and face this world with me. When I am at my weakest, they are the people that lift my spirits.  They are the souls that fight for me when I've lost all of my strength.  They say the words that I am incapable of speaking, and when I'm certain I'm drowning, they're the ones that seem to walk on water.  I see how blessed I am to have such wonderful beings in my life, and I can't say that they're anything less than miracles.  Whether it's the words "I love you," "It'll be ok," or a simple "I'm bringing beer," they always know exactly what I need and offer it free of charge. And in the same sense, no matter how many times our hearts have been broken, we pick up the pieces and continue to love.  I hear so often from people that they'll never get married again.  This may be true, but you're not dating for no reason.  We are humans.  It's inherent of our nature to seek companionship.  We each search this world over for our soulmates.  Sometimes we settle.  Sometimes we lose them, but we grasp the hope left within us that next time will be different, and we try again. That raw firm of boldness is one to be  reckoned with.

We aren't born warriors. We're molded into them through years of pain. Within my custody battle,  we've fought over everything from money to who is allowed to pick up the kids from school, and there isn't a person in my life that hasn't been affected- some positive and others not so much.  I don't go home everyday with a smile of victory.  There are days when it takes every ounce of my being to crumble to the floor and cry myself to sleep, but I get up in the morning.  I put on my war paint again, and I go out into the world to fight again.  That's hope.  That's courage. That's bravery.  It takes everything I have to face my demons, my faults, my shortcomings, and mistakes, but I do it boldly.  I face them without hesitation, because it's what is necessary.

If there were anyone out there with an excuse to quit, I think I've earned that medal. Yet, I refuse to do so.  I am not a quitter.  I will either win, or I will learn and do better next time. I have come to know that a strong heart full of courage isn't something you can create. It's something you're shaped into. Sometimes we all need a little push or self medication,  and no I'm not referring to drugs. Self medicating can come in the form of a long nap, weekend vacation or simply turning the phone off for a few days. We all need to recharge occasionally. Admitting that also takes courage. The war of life is raging,  and it takes true strength to battle it everyday. We all must face the world,  to me bravery is the character in which you trudge ahead. It's the inability to give in no matter the obstacles up ahead.

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