Kids will test every ounce of patience in a person. You know why they say don't pray for patience? Because the good lord will test you! And many times He uses or children. I love kids, I really do. You gotta love kids to travel with them, home school and even take them out in public. To endure the never ending questions, and "I wants", flatulence, whining, screaming, fighting, bickering and all around rude behavior, it takes an immense amount of love and understanding.
Kids also say the most cruel and hurtful things. It's not because they mean them, but more a way of expressing anger for not getting their way. They have actions that follow of course. When children don't get their way, they cry, scream, stomp, huff and pitch an all out fit. The older they get the calmer these fits become, with less tears and noise, and more words of hate. The first time I heard the words "I hate you" I broke down. That simple phrase felt like a bullet to the gut. They got more sadistic as time went on. I've become stupid and mean. Now when things don't go as expected I hear "I just wanna go to my dad's! He loves me." Well I'm sure he does, and hopefully he would show that love by enforcing the rules and not allowing you to disrespect your mother.
Discipline means to teach. A parent must love their children to instill discipline. What I'm about to say may very well piss a lot of people off, but it's my belief, my opinion and I'm going to throw it out there. If you don't teach your children to be a respectable human being by putting your foot down, you don't love them the way you should. We should love our children enough to put the fear of God within them. When I hear the phrase "only God can judge me" it makes me so mad. You're right only he can, and you should be afraid. The good Lord loves his children enough to teach them lessons in life, and we should be on the same page. I do not tolerate disrespect. I will not have a child, any child, speak to me like dirt. I will not sit quietly and watch an eye roll, shoulder shrug or huff and stomp of the foot. It has been bred into my very being to put a stop to this. I do not get along with my ex or his family, but I will be damn if I allow my children to speak to or about them in a manner that's disrespectful, hateful, mean or anything else. You will respect your elders. You will do as you are told. And that's that.
The motto in our home is "you get what you get, and you don't throw a fit", followed up by "eat it or starve." I don't negotiate with my children, nor do I accommodate. I love them, but I go by a nice rule. We can play fast food. You'll be McDonald's. I'll be Burger King. We'll have it my way, and you'll be loving, badabababa. Yes, I went there.
I've sat here for 2 hours, tears streaming down my face asking why nothing I do is ever good enough. There are days when I don't land on my feet. Some days I crumble to the floor and beg for enough grace and courage to face tomorrow. I have long said that life is not supposed to be this hard, but I'm realizing that it is normal. I am thankful for the unkind things my children say, because it makes me see that I am loving them the right way. I am molding tiny humans into wonderful people, and someday they will thank me for it. Maybe not today, or even out loud, but someday they will see that every action I took was with their best interest at heart. I've had to make some very tough decisions. I've made sacrifices on their behalf that they may never know, but I do it with a happy heart knowing someday it will pay off.
My dad told me when I was young "it's a parents job to teach their kids the way to go. It's up to the child to choose that path." Lord I pray tonight, that you give me the wisdom to point them in the right direction. Soften my heart that I may love them more. Give me the words to say to encourage them, lift them up and stimulate their conscience to grow. May they look to you for guidance as well. Lord take my children under your wing and protect them through this world that's so full of evil, but Lord most of all give me thicker skin to endure the harsh words that will inevitably cross their lips. And give me the love and patience to correct it without fail, to shine a light on the better way to behave and to love one another. Their hearts are empty cups, lord help me fill it up.
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