Dear sweet younger me,
I'm writing this knowing you would never listen to me even if communicating this back in time were possible. But there are so many things I'd still love to tell you.
I read a funny meme online a few months back that really made an impact. "Stop taking this life so seriously. It's not like you're going to get our alive." This is the truth. Not a single person on earth is going to escape this existance alive- may as well enjoy the ride.
Be kind to those around you. Your character will take years to build, but you will soon enough be a kind and gentle heart. Learn this trait before life teaches it to you. Your heart is so big, and you love with every ounce of it. Use that more. Say thank you more often. A grateful heart is just as important as the kindness within.
Learn to balance a check book. Just know that a bounced check will cost you $35 each time, and trust me when I say, that's going to be a lot of money. You could purchase a new car, or 2 with the overdraft fees you'll burn. Speaking of cars, learn to drive better. Pay better attention. Slow down. Car insurance isn't free, and once dad cuts you off of his, you'll wish you hadn't flipped that shiny new car. Yes you flip it. You wrecked the next one ofter that, and the one after that. Again I say, SLOW DOWN.
There are 2 things in this life that will take you anywhere you need to go, good credit and an education. Please don't screw this up. Finish college no matter what it costs you, and for heaven's sake, don't put your name on anything you can't afford. Pay your bills, even if it means working over time, staying home instead of going out, or not buying those new shoes. You don't need them anyways.
I know you would give anything to move out on your own as soon as you graduate. Don't. Stay home. Stay innocent. Your curfew sucks. You'll survive. Mom and Dad are trying to protect you. Let them. There is nothing in that cruel world that you need to endure right now, and living at home will keep you from making a ton of mistakes. Wait until you're ready, like really ready. If you don't have at least 6 months of living expenses in the bank, don't move out. Moving back home after failing miserably is not much fun. Although it's humbling, and humilty is one trait you could practice a little more often.
Spend more time on your education. I know you don't know what you want to do with your life. Just know that you have amazing potential, but get a degree in something. Anything. Be a nurse, a teacher, an accountant, anything. Art is wonderful, and I would never advise that you let that die. Continue to build that portfolio, but have a fall back plan. You don't have to stress making all A's. The dumbest Dr in the class is still a Dr when he graduates. Just graduate.
Love will inevitably find you along the way. Wait on it. Don't get married so young, although I'm proud you waited as long as you did. Wait a little longer. You don't know who you are until you're 25, and to be perfectly honest, it took you a little over 30 to figure it out. Go chase your dreams. Travel through Europe. Learn a foreign language. Learn German. There's a great kid in your future that needs to know that language.
Speaking of kids, I know you don't really like them now, but you will someday. They're incredible. Yes, I've advised you to get a degree. I also called it a back up plan. When you're given the opportunity to be a stay at home mom, do it. Don't be so stressed out the first few years. Cherish every single moment. When your daughter makes that crazy noise that sounds like a weed eater and drives you crazy, record it. You will miss it when she stops. It'll take 5 years, but I promise, you will sit and cry when you realize she no longer "mows the yard." You do an really great job at loving those tiny humans, but I encourage you to do more. Worry less about what brand of clothes they wear, and more about the fun they have. Yell less, play more. Pick your battles.
Hold on to your friends. A true friend is hard to find. Be honest with those around you. Learn to be much more blunt than you are now. If you want something, ask. Just be upfront. It will serve you very well. Don't keep company with fake people, and please sweetie, don't ever be the fake person. Always be polite, never fake. Many people will cross your path through the years, there are several I wish I had held onto. I won't name names, but pay attention. When you really care about someone, keep them close, and don't lose touch. In any event, some of them will find you down the road. It'll seem like you never missed a beat.
I am very proud of you. Looking back, I am extremely proud of the girl you are and the woman you will become. Remember this, your heart is going to break a few times. You're going to experience plenty of good times. Make the best of every single one of them. The bad times will inevitably come as well. Learn from them. Take time now and then to sit outside and just look at the stars. Don't be afraid to dream out loud.
The only other thing I can tell you is blonde is not your color. You are better as a redhead, and no matter what anyone says, they have more fun. Don't worry about your weight. You are beautiful in any size. Think about your tattoos before you get them, but don't let anyone talk you out of it. You're an artist, get inked or die naked. Live unapologetically. Pray everyday. Get in the habit of putting the laundry away straight out of the dryer, and take vitamins. Most of all, be self sufficient. You're going to turn out wonderfully. Carry yourself with confidence, and don't ever let anyone tell you you can't do something. You can. You're amazing, and you're going to be just fine.
Love, The older me
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