The next phase

It dawned on me today, while sitting in Sunday service no doubt, that we always seem to be looking forward to the next phase in life.  I hear people all the time. "I can't wait to get married." "I can't wait until we have kids." "I can't wait for this baby to be born!" "Oh will I ever sleep through the night again?" "Will the terrible 2's ever end?" "Ugh, I can't wait until he's 4, because apparently the terrible 2's were just a warm up for the terrorist 3's."   We're always looking forward to what's coming next. Do we ever live in the now? 

I'll admit I'm right there with the rest of the world in stressing over the future.  Between work, family, sports, kids, the sig and my ex, there's no shortage of anxiety here.  A few things occurred to me today though. Far sooner than I am ready my youngest won't call for his Nan every time he gets in trouble.  My oldest doesn't use the word "riven room"  anymore.  My 3 year old will soon refuse to kiss me in public. There won't be toys left in the bottom of the bath tub forever.  All this makes me nostalgic.  Those tiny socks will soon turn into full grown sizes, and the cute little puppy love will evolve into full blow heart break.  I'm not ready.  

I miss the days when my sweet girl would ask 100 times a day to watch "the goo goo moo moo."  I would grit my teeth, but now that my sweet angry German wants to watch "the boog"  every single day over and over and over, I let him. I don't say no.  We know every word.  I've learned over time that when the kids ask you to sit down and color with them, you drop everything and color.  They won't ask forever.  There may be years with no crayons in the house, so I smile as I clean out their pockets.  Between the skittles between the couch cushions and matchbox cars lined in the window sill, they each bring a smile and quite frequently with them a misty eye. 

I am excited for what the next step in this life brings, but I am not ready to let go of what's going on now.  Soon enough I'll be meeting the parents of my children's significant others, and my heart will ache for the simple days.  You know, the days when changing pajamas was an accomplishment and brushing your hair was a privilege.  Whew! Who would've thought we'd ever be thankful for 2 hours of sleep, nonconsecutive at that and forgetting to eat all day long, because we were too busy cleaning up after the meals of the little ones?  

Yes, I'm looking forward to the future, but I am not stressing it.  As far as I'm concerned, these are the best years of our lives, and those to come will only be better.