Sunday, January 17, 2016

Growing up

Getting old really sucks.  I remember my dad would always tell me You can eat anything you want until you turn 25.  Then you're just gonna blow up!  I didn't believe him then, but at the ripe age of 25 I saw the light.  I had never been super skinny, but I was thin... a curvy thin, but thin none the less.  I'd never had a cavity, and for the most part I was relatively healthy.  The worst I'd ever been sick with was the flu or Mono. 

Twenty five hit, and suddenly my metabolism slowed to a screeching hault.  My teeth began to decay, and my hair changed consistency altogether.  I found my first white hair, and yes I said white.  It wasn't gray.  It was electric, ghostly white.  Food allergies began to set in, and the next thing you know, I was allergic to everything from beef to wheat.  My joints started popping, bones were more brittle, and nap time became my favorite activity. 

Age brings so many new things with it, unwanted to say the least.  Hormone imbalances, mood swings, night sweats, sensitive skin, hair loss, etc.  You start losing the hair on your head and suddenly have to shave your toes.  When I was a kid, I'd look at people my age and think gah!  You are so old!! I don't agree anymore.  At 32 years old, I think I am pretty young. I've got so much life left in me, but the body isn't holding up as well as the mind and spirit.  I still want to jump on the trampoline with the kids, play tennis in the backyard, and dive off the highboard.  The kids are still raring to go at 9 pm, and I'm fading by 7.  You hear people say they want the energy of the kids.  I don't.  I just want enough to keep up and the lung capacity to not have a heart attack after a 50 foot dash. 

The hormones bring the mood swings, which in essence causes everyone to take a ride on the emotional roller coaster.  You could be having a wonderful morning, and the slightest issue brings tears rolling down your face like the flood gates of the Hoover Dam just opened.  You find yourself balling over the dishes, because the kids hated whatever gourmet meal you attempted to serve.  When the baby suddenly decides one day that the man who plays cowboys with him is more fun than you, it sends your body into shock.  Next thing you know,  you're irritated at the world.  The family decides to watch a kid movie, and as consistent as gravity the room is staring at you as you're sobbing about a little girl in a Disney film losing her imaginary friend.  You lie awake at night wondering why on earth you can't seem to get it together.  Tomorrow's another day.  I'm not going to freak out and cry. Tomorrow comes and so do the water works... and over something as stupid as the neighbor's cat crapped in your flower bed.  Nobody walks there.  Why is it such a big deal?

You go to the Dr., and what does he say? It's totally normal.  You're almost 35, and it's understandable.  You break down when you explain how you've gained 10 pounds over 3 months.  Well what are you doing to counteract that? he asks.  Everything! Dr. I'm desperate.  I've done everything except exercise! As soon as the words leave your lips, you realize how goofy you sound.  I've done everything except the 50% of the recommended regimend to lose weight! GAH!! Then it hits.  How can I exercise? I don't even have the energy to play a board game!! How on earth am I going to do jumping jacks?! Old age....it's the number one killer on earth. 

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