Monday, January 11, 2016

Life is hard, and it isn't fair

Life is hard. It isn't fair. Some people have it made their whole lives,  while others have to fight and struggle for every inch they gain in this world. I am the fighter. We don't all get dealt the same hands, but the years have taught me a few things.

Life has taught me the value of a dollar. There was a time when I was horrible at managing money, and trust me,  I know how to spend it. It took many failures to know how to hold it,  save it,  and make it last. But believe me when I say,  if I squeeze a nickel, I can make 7 pennies fall out. Which brings me to priorities. No one is busy all of the time. You pay rent first, utilities second,  and everything else afterwards. When the kids are present, be present. Priorities are what comes first in your life, and the order in which you put everything tells me everything I need to know about you.

Everyone has a tell when they're lying. I've mastered finding that tell within the first 5 minutes of knowing someone. Whether I call them out or not depends on the lie. Little lies lead to big lies, and I've discovered if someone is comfortable telling a white lie,  they'll get comfortable telling more and trust will be very difficult to maintain. I have also come to believe that trust is the most important ingredient in any relationship. You can marry a perfect stranger and never love them, but you can make it work for 100 years. If you don't trust your partner,  it isn't a question of if you will fail. It's when. And broken trust is 3 times harder to fix than it was too originally earn.

Some people are just toxic. No matter how much you love them,  they're not healthy for you. They may be perfect for someone else,  but not for you. Don't hold that against them.

Forgiveness is not always earned. You must give it anyways, with or without explanation or closure. Your sanity and peace depends on it. Always remember ,the devil wears sheep's clothing. Not all who keep your company are your friends, and we must be careful what we share.

Burning bridges will either light your path or cause you to swim. Keep the bridge until you know which way you're going. Be nice until it's time to be mean,  but never destroy another human.

Broken people are the most difficult to love,  but if they open up and show you the pieces,  don't take that for granted. They love stronger than anyone,  and while it will take them longer to let you in,  it's worth the wait. Don't let this life make you bitter. It will break you. It will wear you down. At least once you'll think you're better off alone. This isn't true. We're built for companionship. Let yourself fall in love, be loved,  and get back up when it's over. Love is the only thing that heals all wounds.

Laughter truly is the best medicine. Marry the one who keeps you laughing.

Everybody leaves. They leave at the worst of times,  when you least expect it,  and when you need them the most. Love the people while you have them. You never know how long their portion of the story is. It may be a sentence or a chapter. Call your parents even though they're going to talk about their feet. They won't be there forever,  and you'll wish you had them to chat with, even if it is about their toenails.

Lastly,  secrets are rarely kept. Skeletons don't like closets,  and gossip is for everybody.

Life is messy. It's not always beautiful, but it is what you make it.

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