I absolutely love scrolling through facebook and reading all the little ecards about how he's going to realize one day, you were the best he ever had. Really? Let's be brutally honest here... have you ever had anyone see this, let alone share this reality with you? Come on now. Only once has anyone ever called to share his regrets of moving on. Once. Take a wild guess as to what his motive behind the words were. Yes, you guessed it. He merely wanted between my sheets, not the pages of my heart.
Men don't call you up months after a breakup and tell you how amazing you were. They don't suddenly come to some epiphany that they let the greatest thing in the world slip right through their grasp. Maybe I'm missing something, but that's not how it works. If you were the best thing he ever had, he'd still have you. If he loved you that much, no lame excuse, stupid reasoning or massonistic misunderstanding would've stood in the way. He would've seen past all the flaws, accepted every failure, and forgiven every mistake.
Go with me on this, but I have a slight opinion about why these little quotes exist. Is it at all possible that that's just what we want him/her to think? It's possible that he may see someday that no one has ever loved him quite like you did. No one has ever made him feel that same way. There may be an ounce of regret, but he isn't going to share that with the class. And should he decide it's a good idea to let you in on this, I pray this is the moment you realize your worth. You're better than that, and he should've seen it back then. I'm not saying don't give second chances, because we all need one now and then. What I'm saying is if he's willing to let you go, break your heart, cause that kind of pain, consider what the second go round will be like. I stand on my little soap box and preach about never giving second chances, and I don't. I make sure to give about 8 or 9 just to make sure it was a bad idea, but I'm learning that with each new opportunity I give someone, it only makes me more bitter towards them. There's less attachement. I feel less. I don't let them in anymore. Who does that benefit? If you can't give your all, why give any?
We all have the what if, the unicorn, the one that got away in our past. I have one too. We had a chemistry that was undeniable to anyone in the room with us. We were amazing. We loved so deeply, but should he call today and swear I was the best he never had, please let's try again, I would say no. A rekindled flame is like left over chinese- it's still got some flavor, but the rice will never be the same. We won't have that kind of love again, and I know it. No matter how much I may think it feels good, in the back of my mind I will always be waiting for the next reason to let me go. I'm better than that. I'm worth more than that, and had he seen my worth, he wouldn't have let me go in the first place. So no, no one will ever love him the way I did. No one will ever replace me, because there's only one of me, but I'll have to be the what if in his mind too.
Oh dear daughters, if he sees that you are the best he's ever had, he never would've stepped out. He never would've insulted your intelligence by lying to you. He wouldn't need a lame excuse to say maybe we can try this again later. If you wait until he's ready you'll be waiting for the rest of your life. It's now or never. Either see my value and hold on for dear life, or let me go.
Please Lord if I fail in every aspect of parenting, please let me instill into my children their value, self worth and independence. I pray they hear me when I say this life is far too short to be anything but happy. If it's not fulfilling your purpose in life, move on. Be the best he or she never had, but don't be naive enough to think they're ever going to tell you that.
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