Enough

Enough. I am enough. I am good enough. I've seen enough. I've heard enough.  I've had enough. It's enough.

I preach daily about the life lessons that have been so cruel and yet taught me so much.  Looking back they are each a blessing in disguise.  They say when one door closes, a window opens. This is true....although in my case that window may be on the third floor somewhere.

It's nearly comical to me how people will sit back and judge your life on what they think it should be.  I may judge you for the choice in pants you put on in the morning to go to Wal-Mart, but I will never criticize where you are in life.  We all have our battles.  They each lead us down our own path, so unless you're on the exact same path as me, because you've made all the same choices, how is it your place to say where I should be? And if you are, then you wouldn't be looking at me funny, because you've failed just as much!  

I have started over several times in my adult life. I have failed miserable, picked myself up out of the ashes, built a whole new life and burned it down again.  Sometimes you have to strike that match.  Burning that bridge isn't always a bad thing. It's all a part of finding yourself, your happiness.  This life is far too short to be anything but happy.  I have an obsession for pinterest, and I have read so many inspirational quotes that talk about being happy, leaving that miserable job, selling everything you own and roaming free around the world.  Well, I'm not about to sell off everything I own to roam the countryside, because after all, I like to eat, and my cave man skills are less than sub par. But, recently I have come to understand first hand that if you have to dread 9 hours out of your day, you are not where you need to be.  For me, it took too long to see this. A mistake, I never intend to make again. If it's not adding to my joy, then it's taking away from it, and you'll see me walking away. 

I have been given the opportunity to follow my dreams, and I will do nothing less than just that. It took several days of soul searching.  A few tears were shed, not many but a few.  A celebration took place.  So much stress was born. And then suddenly the light bulb came on.  This is what I've wanted! This is the answer I've been looking for.  Of course I chuckled and thought haha, found the ladder to the third floor. But truth,  sometimes you have to take that leap, in my case a violent shove off the roof, and build your wings on the way down.  (yes, I read that somewhere on pinterest)

Thus why I am enough.  I believe in myself.  I may be crazy, but I am crazy enough to believe that I will make it.  I'm not sure where "it" is, but I'm on my way.  I am strong enough to succeed.  I am smart enough to walk away from the things that no longer serve me.  I am wise enough to see through the people that smile to my face, but wouldn't even whistle if I were about to be hit by a car.  I am polite enough not to call them out on this bullshit.  I am beautiful enough to bring light to this dark world, even if it's just a smile to a stranger.  I am young enough to start over every time I see the need.  I am old enough to know the difference between starting over and failing. I'm brave enough to know where I want to be, and will to do whatever it takes to get there. I am strong enough to carry myself.  But most of all, I am crazy enough to believe that dreams come true. 

We get the answers to our prayers in some of the most unimaginable ways at times, but they're answers none the less. The light at the end of the tunnel really is a train sometimes, but if you truly listen to your heart, follow you passion, and never give up, someday, it could lead you to Narnia. You've got to hit a few bumps in the road.  You have to lose it all to value what you've got, but oh the sweet reward.