I attended a softball game last week, and without a doubt it was the worst game I've ever watched. Ever. And I've watched an over abundance of softball games. By the time it was over I was horrified, irritated, over emotional, just exhausted from all the feelings, and I am compelled to share.
When we sign our children up for sports, what's the reason? Team building, learning to play well with others, a new experience, exercise etc right? Well I have long believed team sports were more about learning to win with grace and lose with pride, but most importantly to have fun. If it's not fun, it's work.
The teams took the field, and it was evident right away who would win the game. Fine and good. One side had 5 coaches where the other had 1 who only left the duggout for 5 minutes. The stands were filled with our team's parents and only a couple from the opposing side. Again fine and good. The first team struck out with 4 batters, and we swapped. When the umpire stepped up to assist in showing the pitcher how to throw the ball, it was evident she'd never played before. Of course this is when you would hope the coach would've told them to take it easy. Did they? No.
No, they didn't take it easy. We would spend the next hour playing the bottom of the first inning. An hour!! Of course, we went thru the line up at least 3 times. I stopped keeping score, but what I did pay attention to was the fact that our coaches were still leading the team in Cheers even after several runs came in. Our coaches were continuing to encourage stealing bases. Why? I wasn't the only parent embarrassed by the lack of class.
When a team that doesn't have much guidance, very little funding, and even less involvement from parents takes the well groomed field in front of enthusiastic families and an overzealous opposing team with multiple coaches, it's intimidating to say the least, but when they add insult to injury and cheer while said team makes errors and fumbles thru every play, it's humiliating. Win or lose, they came to play the game, and we had the opportunity to teach them how, but we didn't. The only thing they learned that afternoon was how to quit.
I watched the pitcher wipe tears from her cheeks hoping no one noticed as she tossed what had to have been at least the hundredth ball towards home plate. My heart ached as an outfielder in middle school became so disheartened that she sat down in the grass. When all eyes turned to our coaches for mercy, none was shown. The cheering eventually stopped, but we stole every base we could. We continued to walk player after player when the pitcher got so tired she couldn't even get the ball across the plate in the air. Still no mercy.
Several parents asked each other, "why doesn't the coach just tell them to swing? If they connect great. If not, then they at least will get an out or two and the chance at coming into the second inning!"
There were four teammates that never even touched the grass, because they were subs in the game scheduled to come out in the second inning, my daughter included. Four girls went home disappointed that they dressed to play, but never got to.
The other team left the field with so much haste, while our girls went sliding into home plate, because they didn't get dirty during the game. That wasn't the worst part.
We are talking about an inner city school. Those girls already don't have all the opportunities or privileges the others did. It was as if we told them "We are better." We aren't better. We certainly weren't that day. That day, I was ashamed. I was ashamed that the people in charge of teaching our girls to play were more concerned about winning and the number on the score board than the pride of others. They were more concerned about racking up points than playing a game. It wasn't fun that day. It was any fun for the people in the stands. It didn't appear any fun for the girls who didn't get to play, and it certainly wasn't fun for the other team.
We should have more class and tact than that. Our children should be taught that humiliating someone just because you can, doesn't make it right. Winning for personal gain, isn't winning. We were going to score more points that day, no matter what we did, but we had the opportunity to help a struggling team get better. We didn't take it. We made a struggling team struggle for an hour and fifteen minutes. We made them wonder why they even showed up. And we laughed and cheered for the better half of it.
Coach, if you don't have grace and humility to teach the team, you're not qualified. All the talent in the world can't make up for lack of sportsmanship. You have the chance to teach these girls, not just about softball, but life. Teach them to lend a hand rather than an iron fist.
Sincerely, the mom you disappointed when you failed to show class and chose domination instead.
By the way, I'll pray for you.
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