We've all heard the saying "we suffer in silence." Why? Why is it that we don't reach out? Why don't we seek help? Or better yet, what takes so long to seek that help when we do?
Is it that we are ashamed? Frightened? Worried we will become a burden? Belittled? Yes. It's all of those. We don't reach out, because somewhere someone made us feel as if it were not OK. And so we suffer.
We hide the pain. We mask the depression. We struggle through the anxiety as best we can. We retreat from the people we love. We shed silent tears in the showers. We attempt to cover the postpartum depression. We cover up the nervous breakdown. We tuck in PTSD as best we can. We create the closet of skeletons, and we suffer. Alone.
We do this for so many reasons. We are ashamed. We are too proud. After all what will people think? We are hurt. Maybe we've reached out so many times it feels redundant. Or we've reached out and no one helped. We are insecure. Somehow we've come to believe we aren't worth the trouble. We are alone. Maybe there just isn't anyone to care. Whatever the reason, we shut out our love ones. Lie to our friends. Miss out families. We resort to solitude.
Did you know roughly 60% of Americans are taking some form of mood altering medication? That means that of 5 people closest to you, at least 3 are struggling. We have to stop this cycle. I don't know how to cure anxiety and depression or anything else on the medical spectrum, but I do know this. If we didn't wait to reach out, if we didn't hide our feelings and let them build, that percentage would drop drastically. Better yet, if we stopped shaming mothers for being down, comforted the friend in a rough spot, offered to help the person with financial difficulty work out a budget, took an extra second to choose our tone with our spouse, didn't belittle those who need us, and didn't give the impression we were being inconvenienced by another human, I think we'd see a difference in the world.
The good lord said "love your neighbor." He didn't say only if you have the time, or if they're to your standards. He said "love them."
I too am suffering. I too am ashamed. I'm petrified of being a disappointment, of hurting my family, and making mistakes. I have heard more times than I can count to "grow up", "suck it up", "get over it". Sometimes it's not that simple. Sometimes, we need that person to talk to. We all could use a little more understanding. Pay attention to the people in your life. We all have or demons, but we don't have to suffer in silence.
If you are unhappy, I urge you to say something. If you are lonely, call a friend. If you're worried you don't have a friend, call me. I'll be your friend. If you need a counselor, I know a great one. If you need someone to pray with you, I will. If you're worried the Lord doesn't hear my prayers, I'll point you to someone whom I know he does hear. If your children are driving you mad, I will babysit. If you need a night out, take one. If you need a drink, I'll pour. Please don't suffer alone. This world needs you. We need the best you that you can be.
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