To those I offended by my Valentine's....
My humblest apologies are in order. I took yesterday to really consider why it was offensive. Personally, I don't think it was. When I see a little heart attached to the straw of a juice box, I don't read "love sucks" offensively. I see a pun whose intended purpose was humor. 
Apparently in our society of over sensitive, easily offended, politically correct individuals humor is no longer acceptable, and for that I am sorry. I am so sorry that we can no longer use certain words without someone reading too much into it or getting in a tizzy. Lord help us all, if she was trying to be cute. I'm sorry that your children won't grow up with thick skin. It saddens me to the bitter core that literal is the only form of speech acceptable, and even then silence is best. I'm sorry that your children are being taught that freedom of speech is no longer free. Our fore fathers fought for a freedom we aren't even able to exercise anymore, because heaven forbid if it's too colorful for a fifth grader.
Your school system can allow our children to learn a terrorist religion, witness violence, be bullied into suicidal thoughts, and learn more about the human anatomy than most adults know, but we can't be funny anymore. For that I am truly sorry. From now on, you can rest assure that I will screen my cards. I will resort to premade valentines if necessary, but I have the utmost sympathy for the kids growing up in this system. There are worse things to be offended by than my poor choice in words, but I am sorry. I will stifle my creativity, be careful of my wording, and give every effort not to be off color.
I will offer you this, a light bulb and my final pun. Some would think it's because I'd seen the error in my ways, but no. This is for you. I want you to place it visible to whatever chair you rest in to contemplate, so the next time you wear your feelings on your shirt sleeve and decide to invent a reason to cry, you can look at it and remember to lighten up.
Sincerely and God bless,
Love sucks. I'm sorry that I'm not sorry.
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