The Tiny Humans

When I look at my children, my heart breaks daily. They're so small, so fragile, so impressionable and vulnerable. As adults we are so selfish, and so many times we take our sweet innocent babies along for a ride on our emotional roller coaster.

In my own divorce, I see my children suffering. They miss their lives as they knew it. There's no way to repair that. We grown ups have a few choices. We can fight and make everything miserable. We can talk bad about the other parent making the kids feel they have to choose which one to love more. Or we can simply shut up, grow up and rebuild. I am not saying I'm perfect by any means. I have the right intentions. When my children come home complaining about what their dad is doing, the only thing I can say is "Don't give up on him." They see our struggle. They see that we just simply cannot get it together.

So many times the tug of war of life leaves our children on the front lines fighting with us. Why do we allow this?! I too am guilty. I give them too much information, and in turn they feel responsible somehow.

I have seen personally the destruction of the so called book two parents used to be in. The ex and I used to be somewhat on the same page. Now we aren't even in the same card catalog. What happens when one parent holds to the rules that've always been in place, and the other goes off script? Simple. The kids act out. They test their limits. They learn to manipulate. It may take years for them to understand which parent will budge and which won't. As for my kids, they are learning that one parent let's them do pretty much whatever, where the other is desperately seeking the stability we once had.

I wan the rules to be the same no matter which house they're at. I want them to be able to take toys back and forth. I want them to know that while mom and dad can't live with each other, they're still a team. This is not the case. We seem to be more like mortal enemies. It seems as if we do things to irritate each other. We punish each other with our kids. Who suffers? The tiny humans suffer the most. When dad holds the toys hostage, the kids don't have them to play with. When mom doesn't send the cute clothes to dads weekend, they look homeless. The tiny humans feel the weight of the struggle where the adults feel the stress. We must end this. We must somehow find peace. When I figure out how, I will share my success. So far I've been nothing short of a failure.