Memory Lane

I took a stroll down memory lane this week, and by stroll I mean I drove thru my home town. After nearly 15 years of being gone, so much has changed, and yet, so much is still exactly the same. Everybody still knows everybody. The square is still the center of everything, and it's still the kind of town every kid dies to get away from but ends up missing when they're gone.

The memories washed over me like a summer rain, while the emotions hit me like a hurricane. I remember growing up just waiting for the day to move away. Now as I sit in the suburbs and listen to the hustle and bustle around me, and I'd love nothing more than the house with 5 acres in the middle of nothing to call my home.

I miss the Friday night lights and low roar coming from the football stadium, waking up on Saturday morning to see which friend's house got toilet papered, running in to at least 3 people you know every where you went, watching the rows of corn as you drive past, and the dust rolling across the field as they harvest the crops.  All the things I despised then, but I'd love to have now.

My family stayed about 5 years after I left. The last real memory from there was my sweet tiny 2 year old girl running after my sister's van as they drove away for the last time. I've never cried so hard in my life. You'd have thought someone died. Looking back something did die that day; a past time, a life time, my childhood. It was all over. I've been back many times since that day, but that moment is forever stamps in time. That was when home moved away.

It's funny how all I wanted growing up was to get away. I'd give anything to go back now. Getting stuck behind a tractor wouldn't be so bothersome, because it's good to just slow down. This world is in such a hurry. We are all rushing to the next event. It was absolutely amazing to go somewhere, where time seemed to have stood still. I guess for years I've been searching for home, not realizing the people in that van were my home. The house we lived in still stands, but the structure hooks no value. Is the love we shared that cake its weight in gold.